Know The Borders And Boundaries

Have you ever experienced having someone in your face when they talk to you? So close that you get showered? Often when we are out networking, we find ourselves in a loud environment as people try to talk louder to be heard over people trying to talk louder to be heard. This results in a roar that makes regular conversation difficult.

People just tend to try to get closer so they would be heard and hear each other. Being too close to another person can sometimes be very uncomfortable. This discomfort is heightened when we have been consuming alcohol and the person we are talking to have not.

Everyone has his comfort zone boundary. This is a space around us that when another person enters we begin to feel uncomfortable. A good way to relate to this is to remember if you have ever had an argument where someone got right up in your face and possibly even pointed their finger very near to it. So how did you feel? Usually, it would make a person angrier.

In networking, it’s very important to maintain a certain distance from a person that you talk to. This distance should be about an arm’s length. This is the comfort boundary of most people. If you are in conversation with another person and you find that you are very close to him, imagine raising your arm, and that is the distance that should be between you. If the other person moves closer to you during the conversation, then it is acceptable for them to be closer. So continue the conversation at that distance if the other person seems fine with it.

You can sometimes tell if you are standing too close to someone if they seem to be moving back while you are talking to them. If they appear to be getting further away from you, do not move to be closer to them. The person will stop when he reaches the distance that he is comfortable with. But if he would turn and walk away, then you should find someone else to talk to.

This can be very important in building relationships with others. You should remember that if a person is not engaged in the conversation, then it wouldn’t matter what you say to him. Observing boundaries can help a lot in networking.

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